Applying the Paramedic Method
The sentence that I chose for this assignment, however, comes from the article "As a second day of shutdown starts, no solution in sight", written by Carrie Dann, a political reporter for the NBC News. The article is regarding the recent government shutdown.
"After the first full day of a government shutdown that featured photo-ops and a handful of strategic votes but no evidence of real negotiations, the funding lapse continued Wednesday with little clarity about how the congressional impasse may be solved."
This sentence contains 40 words. I have broken it down to 13 words.
"After one day of a government shutdown, the funding lapse continued Wednesday."
Amanda, very well-done! I'm impressed with how you were able to break down the sentence into its core message and then express it concisely and precisely. Good work!
ReplyDeleteAmanda I think the condensement of your sentence was a good one. I also researched the lonest sentence and there were a lot. For you to use the government shutdown as a example is excellent considering there are a lot of "long winded" politicians!
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how just cutting out the prepositional phrases reduced the extra wordage in that statement. I am not sure why people put all the extra words in that are not necessary to conveying the meaning. I know I am guilty sometimes of the same thing. I will try to use the Paramedic Method in the revision of my next essay.
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
ReplyDeleteI thought that you did an excellent job shortening the sentence using the paramedic method. I would much rather read 13 words than 40. 40 words is entirely too much for one sentence. It makes the sentence hard to follow and even harder to understand. You did a great job cutting out the unnecessary parts.